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Say it taint so…

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Why is this word such a bugaboo for me?  If you do some cursory research on ‘taint’ (n), you come up with various definitions: a hit in tilting, a knock/blow, a disease in horses, a conviction, a stain/blemish, an unpleasant smell, a corruption/infection, and a trace/tinge of disease.

The OED provides some background on my favorite sense of the word:

1. a. A stain, a blemish; a sullying spot; a touch, trace, shade, tinge, or tincture of some bad or undesirable quality; a touch of discredit, dishonour, or disgrace; a slur.

1601 SHAKES. Twel. N. III. iv. 390, I hate ingratitude more in a man, Then..any taint of vice. a1637 B. JONSON Underwoods xiii, A hallowed temple, free from taint Of ethnicisme. 1643 CHAS. I. Proclam. Wks. 1662 II. 350 Free from the foul Taint of High Treason. 1682 OTWAY Venice Pres. II. i, They leave a Taint, a Sully where they’ve past. 1706 PHILLIPS (ed. Kersey), A Taint..a Blur, Spot, or Blemish in one’s Reputation. 1742 FIELDING Jos. Andrews II. iv, His temper was..without the least taint of moroseness. 1781 COWPER Expost. 150 Free from every taint but that of vice. 1819 KEATS Eve St. Agnes xxv, She knelt so pure a thing, so free from mortal taint. 1838 PRESCOTT Ferd. & Is. (1846) II. xx. 211 A slight taint of pedantry. 1851 G. BRIMLEY Ess., Wordsworth 103 There is no taint upon his robe. 1883 SIR J. BACON in Law Rep. 25 Ch. Div. 316 For good consideration and without taint of suspicion.

“So free from mortal taint”

I wish I were!  How the hoosie-heck did this word come to mean the perineum?  Wikipedia’s article gives a nice cultural resume on that!  (t’ain’t one part or the other)  The article also mentions the Mr. Show with Bob and David episode (#406) that features this featureless anatomical part.  This sketch marks the first time where I was intimately exposed to this part of the body.  Now I find that sketch funny, yet it is still repulsive and vulgar at the same time.  Why not just call it a perineum?  Not catchy enough for our rich, polysemous vernacular, I guess.

To end my short rumination, I can only say to you, ‘taint’, that sometimes I feel I’ve got to run away.  I’ve got to run away from the pain that you drive into the heart of me.  The love we share seems to go nowhere, and I’ve lost my light for I toss and turn–I can’t sleep at night.  Once I ran to you (I ran).  Now I’ll run to you.  This tainted love…
   

 

The Cereal Poet

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A Plate of Rispetto

Just as I watch your fork wind little strings of spaghetti,
My thoughts unravel on my too-full mental plate
Of how to compose lines like Ferlinghetti
Or how to twine wisps of words, confused and inchoate.

How does one season a bland lyrical repast?
In time your tomato-y dinner wanes; these lines will outlast
Your stringy feast before you.  I need some hint
To make this last line like your after-dinner mint!

 

Meet Zorocks

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Ocks of Zor, or Zorocks as he is affectionately known, hails from the planet Zor, of course.  After striking out in kickball (and thus his disgruntled visage) yesterday, Zorocks allowed me to come into his presence and told me he wants his own profile on the internet(s).  Here are his stats:

 

Turn-ons: spaghetti, people bearing gifts of spaghetti, and galactic peace

Turn-offs: pizza, fake people, and fake people bearing pizza

Favorite sport: Volleyball

Favorite poetic form: Rispetto

Favorite movie: Big Night

Favorite book: Edwin A. Abbott’s Flatland

Favorite grammar mistake: Dangling Modifier

Greatest fear: Lamination

 

 

 

Zorocks lives alone, but he has two good friends: baseball-playing Damone (male, pictured here in blue) and soccer-playing Frency (female, pictured here in red).

 

Zorocks would like his three-dimensional-visually-sighted friends to know that he will be stopping by for a spaghetti dinner at a home near you soon.